Todd was watching an episode of Caillou today, one where Caillou's grandmother was going into a nursing home. When Caillou's mother explained to Caillou what a nursing home was, Todd ran up to Oma and piped up:
"When you get too old to take care of yourself, you won't need to go into a nursing home! I'll take care of you!"
:-)
Showing posts with label From the mouths of babes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label From the mouths of babes. Show all posts
Mother's Day Lament
After lamenting the fact that the church has special activities on Mother's Day (like hiring a photographer!) but nothing like that on Father's Day, which Todd found insulting, he added this:
"Someday I'll be a father and then the church will insult me by not taking photos on Father's Day!"
"Someday I'll be a father and then the church will insult me by not taking photos on Father's Day!"
Daddy the Handyman?
On Daddy fixing the leaking bathroom sink faucet:
Todd: "Is he going to do it himself, or is he going to hire someone? You know, he should ask Opa to help. Opa's good at fixing stuff, and plus he's family!"
Mommy: "What, you don't think Daddy can fix it himself?"
Todd: "No, of course not!" (and then jumps right into a story about how Opa fished out a toothbrush he got stuck in the sink drain once)
Don't We Count??
We had friends over to our place to hang out and sing some home karaoke. June and Ron were the first to arrive, and Todd and Jake promptly started playing together. They were in the dining room, eating a snack, while the grownups sat around the couch, conversing.
Neither June nor I wanted to get up and sing, we said we wanted to wait until there were more people.
Ron and Allan took offense to this, saying something along the lines of "What, don't we husbands count!?"
Todd peeked around the corner of the dining room and said: "Yeah, and what about your SONS!?"
Sigh... yeah, I supposed husbands and sons are people, too ;-)
Neither June nor I wanted to get up and sing, we said we wanted to wait until there were more people.
Ron and Allan took offense to this, saying something along the lines of "What, don't we husbands count!?"
Todd peeked around the corner of the dining room and said: "Yeah, and what about your SONS!?"
Sigh... yeah, I supposed husbands and sons are people, too ;-)
Squirrel S**t?
This morning, as I was lying in bed, waking up, I heard Todd chattering in the kitchen over his breakfast, as he does every day. This morning, however, I could swear it sounded like he was saying "bulls**t! bulls**t!" over and over again. At first I thought I was just mishearing him, since I was on the other side of the house.
But no, Daddy, who was right next to him, wondered too. To Daddy, it sounded like Todd was saying "squirrel s**t!".
Daddy: What did you say?
Todd: Squirrel s**t!
Daddy: What!?
Todd: Squish.... it!
Ooooohhhhh!!!
And here I thought that maybe Todd had picked up a few choice things from the parade hecklers a couple weeks ago!
But no, Daddy, who was right next to him, wondered too. To Daddy, it sounded like Todd was saying "squirrel s**t!".
Daddy: What did you say?
Todd: Squirrel s**t!
Daddy: What!?
Todd: Squish.... it!
Ooooohhhhh!!!
And here I thought that maybe Todd had picked up a few choice things from the parade hecklers a couple weeks ago!
Lazy Day
Todd and I both have Veteran's Day off work/school, so we were going to spend the day together-- go to karate in the morning, eat with Daddy, etc...
I asked him what else he wanted to do that day. This is how the conversation went:
Mommy: So, what do you want to do on Friday?
Todd: We'll, we're having lunch at GoToCafe
Mommy: Okay, what else?
Todd: Let's... do nothing and just be lazy!
Guess he learns from us a little too well! Oops...
I asked him what else he wanted to do that day. This is how the conversation went:
Mommy: So, what do you want to do on Friday?
Todd: We'll, we're having lunch at GoToCafe
Mommy: Okay, what else?
Todd: Let's... do nothing and just be lazy!
Guess he learns from us a little too well! Oops...
Presents for Mommy and Daddy
As part of getting ready to come up to SB for his birthday party, Todd was preparing some stuff to give to Daddy for a Father's Day present. He'd been saving up coins in his piggy bank for some time, occasionally exchanging the coins for dollar bills with Oma. He was counting the money he had by adding up all the previous transactions. Oma mentioned that Father's Day was coming up, and wondered if Todd was going to give Daddy anything for Father's Day. The following conversation ensued:
Todd: Yes, I'll give him money!
Oma: Oh, how nice. How much are you gonna give?
Todd: $10
Oma: Wow, that's generous. How about Mommy? Are you going to give her anything for Mother's Day?
Todd: I'll give her $10, too.
Oma: (laughing) that's REALLY generous! But... you won't have enough money!
Todd: Yes, I will! I have $27!
Oma: Actually, you added it wrong. You only have $13. You don't have enough to give Mommy and Daddy both $10 each.
Todd (pondering a bit): Okay, I'll give them $4 each.
A few hours later, Oma dug up some red Chinese envelopes for Todd to put the money in, and gave them to him. When she retrieved them to make sure it was amongst the pile of things to bring to SB in a couple days, she noticed that each envelope contained only $2.
Oma: What happened? I thought you were giving them $4 each?
Todd: Well... I changed my mind.
Apparently he had done some math and realized that if he gave us $8, he'd only have $5 left for himself! So he revised the present amounts accordingly. Still, Allan and I accepted our gifts from our son with glee and gratitude :-)
Todd: Yes, I'll give him money!
Oma: Oh, how nice. How much are you gonna give?
Todd: $10
Oma: Wow, that's generous. How about Mommy? Are you going to give her anything for Mother's Day?
Todd: I'll give her $10, too.
Oma: (laughing) that's REALLY generous! But... you won't have enough money!
Todd: Yes, I will! I have $27!
Oma: Actually, you added it wrong. You only have $13. You don't have enough to give Mommy and Daddy both $10 each.
Todd (pondering a bit): Okay, I'll give them $4 each.
A few hours later, Oma dug up some red Chinese envelopes for Todd to put the money in, and gave them to him. When she retrieved them to make sure it was amongst the pile of things to bring to SB in a couple days, she noticed that each envelope contained only $2.
Oma: What happened? I thought you were giving them $4 each?
Todd: Well... I changed my mind.
Apparently he had done some math and realized that if he gave us $8, he'd only have $5 left for himself! So he revised the present amounts accordingly. Still, Allan and I accepted our gifts from our son with glee and gratitude :-)
No Perfect People
Our church's motto is: "No perfect people allowed". As we were heading to the parking lot after services today, we passed by the sign that had the church's name and motto on it. Todd wanted to know why it said "no perfect people allowed". I explained that there are no such thing as perfect people, and that even if there were, such people would not need to go to church-- they're "perfect", after all! He mulled this over a bit, and proclaimed:
"Well then, God isn't allowed! He's the only one that's perfect! We can talk about him in church, but he can't come in!"
... makes sense, doesn't it!
"Well then, God isn't allowed! He's the only one that's perfect! We can talk about him in church, but he can't come in!"
... makes sense, doesn't it!
No more haircuts!
Todd got a haircut, and the loose hairs were making him itch, so when I told him to take his clothes off to take a shower, he complied more readily and quickly than usual. so I remarked, in regards to his speed and willingness to hop in the shower: "We ought to get his hair cut more often!"
Todd replied: "Nooo! Then I would be bald!"
Todd replied: "Nooo! Then I would be bald!"
Growing Too Tall
Conversation on how quickly Todd was growing and how tall he was getting:
Mommy: Someday you'll be taller than Oma, then you'll be taller than me.
Daddy: And someday you'll even be taller than Grandma!
Todd: Will I be taller than Daddy?
Mommy: No.
Todd: Why not?
Mommy: Because I refuse to allow it!
Todd: You can't do that! Only God can do that!
Mommy: Someday you'll be taller than Oma, then you'll be taller than me.
Daddy: And someday you'll even be taller than Grandma!
Todd: Will I be taller than Daddy?
Mommy: No.
Todd: Why not?
Mommy: Because I refuse to allow it!
Todd: You can't do that! Only God can do that!
Pitting One Parent against Another
Almost 8:00pm, time for Todd to do some reading before bed. He asked Daddy if he could join him on Daddy's bed, but as Daddy was getting ready to rest, he declined. So what did Todd do?
Come out into the living room and ask Mommy: "Can I read on the bed with Daddy?"
Since I hadn't heard the previous conversation with Daddy, I absentmindedly responded "Sure" before catching myself and hastily adding: "Only IF it's okay with Daddy!"
Tricky little boy! Already learning to try to use one parent to override the directives of the other!
Come out into the living room and ask Mommy: "Can I read on the bed with Daddy?"
Since I hadn't heard the previous conversation with Daddy, I absentmindedly responded "Sure" before catching myself and hastily adding: "Only IF it's okay with Daddy!"
Tricky little boy! Already learning to try to use one parent to override the directives of the other!
Little Man Logic
Some cute funnies from Todd's lips today:
A bit of background: Mommy and Daddy were wrassling last night and Mommy accidentally punched Daddy's mouth. Hard enough to subdue and hurt him, but not hard enough to hurt her hand (or cause swelling the next day). We were relating this story to Todd at dinner tonight, here is how the conversation went, after explaining the little mishap:
Todd: Why did Mommy accidentally punch you?
Mommy: Because we were wrestling.
Todd: You and Daddy don't wrestle!
Daddy: Sure we do! We was wrasslin'!
Todd (in a most serious tone): That's... not right.
A little while later we were discussing Todd's upcoming birthday, and potential plans for it. We tossed out the suggestion of going to Chuck E. Cheese in LA with the extended family. Trying to drum up excitement, Mommy pointed out what he could do:
Mommy: You can play skeeball with Uncle Ron. I'll bet you'll score more than him!
Todd (again, serious): Why? Is he that bad?
:-D
A bit of background: Mommy and Daddy were wrassling last night and Mommy accidentally punched Daddy's mouth. Hard enough to subdue and hurt him, but not hard enough to hurt her hand (or cause swelling the next day). We were relating this story to Todd at dinner tonight, here is how the conversation went, after explaining the little mishap:
Todd: Why did Mommy accidentally punch you?
Mommy: Because we were wrestling.
Todd: You and Daddy don't wrestle!
Daddy: Sure we do! We was wrasslin'!
Todd (in a most serious tone): That's... not right.
A little while later we were discussing Todd's upcoming birthday, and potential plans for it. We tossed out the suggestion of going to Chuck E. Cheese in LA with the extended family. Trying to drum up excitement, Mommy pointed out what he could do:
Mommy: You can play skeeball with Uncle Ron. I'll bet you'll score more than him!
Todd (again, serious): Why? Is he that bad?
:-D
Too Many Commercials
The little man got to enjoy watching some much-missed TV at Oma and Opa's house this past week. Poor little guy never gets to watch any here, as we don't have cable, so he made up for it during his spring break.
He always watches kid-friendly stuff, but I think he pays too much attention to those commercials.
Cases in point:
As we pulled out of Oma and Opa's driveway on Sunday afternoon, his parting words to Oma were: "You should use Crest toothpaste! It will whiten your teeth. And your teeth are... not white!"
Today, while grocery shopping, we wandered through the hygiene product aisle, and Todd made a beeline for the toothpastes. He studied the vast array of Crest brands and decided that he wanted to buy one... for Oma's birthday!
Later, at home, while Mommy was chopping vegetables for dinner, he watched for a few minutes before piping up with: "You should use Yoshi knives!" and proceeded to give his version of a description of how they worked.
Yeah... who says commercials don't work? ;-P
He always watches kid-friendly stuff, but I think he pays too much attention to those commercials.
Cases in point:
As we pulled out of Oma and Opa's driveway on Sunday afternoon, his parting words to Oma were: "You should use Crest toothpaste! It will whiten your teeth. And your teeth are... not white!"
Today, while grocery shopping, we wandered through the hygiene product aisle, and Todd made a beeline for the toothpastes. He studied the vast array of Crest brands and decided that he wanted to buy one... for Oma's birthday!
Later, at home, while Mommy was chopping vegetables for dinner, he watched for a few minutes before piping up with: "You should use Yoshi knives!" and proceeded to give his version of a description of how they worked.
Yeah... who says commercials don't work? ;-P
Boneless chicken
Todd, on hearing Mommy and Daddy talking about boneless chicken (to eat/cook):
"Well... how does it walk?"
Clearly he was thinking of something along the lines of the Cousin Boneless character on the "Cow and Chicken" cartoon!
"Well... how does it walk?"
Clearly he was thinking of something along the lines of the Cousin Boneless character on the "Cow and Chicken" cartoon!
Don't say "nothing"!
Tonight during dinner Daddy and Todd were teasing each other. I don't quite remember what exactly Todd was doing to Daddy, but Daddy first responded with "Owww!" even though it wasn't supposed to hurt.
Annoyed that Daddy was claiming pain when there wasn't supposed to be any, Todd instructed him: "Don't say 'Owww'!" before doing it again.
Daddy complied, of course. This time he said: "Ouch!!"
Todd became even more annoyed, so this time he issued more detailed instructions. You could practically see his thought process as he spoke the words.
"Don't say 'Oww' or 'Ouch'..."
(wait a minute... that just means he'll say something else)
"... say nothing!"
(wait a minute, I know my Daddy. He'll just say the word "Nothing" instead)
"... but don't say 'Nothing'!"
by this time Daddy and Mommy were laughing too hard to say anything-- Todd knows his father soooo well! A little too well, perhaps. Certainly well enough to know what his Dad would do and to foil any such attempts!
Annoyed that Daddy was claiming pain when there wasn't supposed to be any, Todd instructed him: "Don't say 'Owww'!" before doing it again.
Daddy complied, of course. This time he said: "Ouch!!"
Todd became even more annoyed, so this time he issued more detailed instructions. You could practically see his thought process as he spoke the words.
"Don't say 'Oww' or 'Ouch'..."
(wait a minute... that just means he'll say something else)
"... say nothing!"
(wait a minute, I know my Daddy. He'll just say the word "Nothing" instead)
"... but don't say 'Nothing'!"
by this time Daddy and Mommy were laughing too hard to say anything-- Todd knows his father soooo well! A little too well, perhaps. Certainly well enough to know what his Dad would do and to foil any such attempts!
Saving for a house
Evidently Todd's classmates must have made mention of the fact that they get allowances, for Todd inquired today about them. Then he explained what he was planning to do with the money we're supposed to give him every week:
"I'm going to save it, and when you're ready to buy a house, when you have almost enough money to buy a house, I'll give you some of my allowance to help pay for it!"
... never mind that this money is originally coming from our paychecks to begin with... hey, it's the thought that counts, right?
"I'm going to save it, and when you're ready to buy a house, when you have almost enough money to buy a house, I'll give you some of my allowance to help pay for it!"
... never mind that this money is originally coming from our paychecks to begin with... hey, it's the thought that counts, right?
The "F" word
Last week Todd and I shopped for birthday cards for Daddy. Had to find something special for the big 4-0, after all! While Todd's choices consisted of fun music cards, mine, of course, went to the age digs. And so I found the perfect card for him. The front of it reads:
Oh no! It's the "F" word, that terrible "F" word! Stop me, please before I lose control and say it again and again and again...
Inside it reads:
Forty! You're forty! Yes, Forty! Ha ha! Forty! Forty! Forty!
Happy Birthday!
Harmless enough, right? Good for a few giggles.
Then today at school, apparently, Todd shocked his teacher by making mention of the "F-word". Fortunately, he innocently explained further and told her that his Daddy's 40th birthday was coming up. Whew! Maybe it's not such a bad thing if he thinks, for now, at least, that the F-word is "forty" :-)
Oh no! It's the "F" word, that terrible "F" word! Stop me, please before I lose control and say it again and again and again...
Inside it reads:
Forty! You're forty! Yes, Forty! Ha ha! Forty! Forty! Forty!
Happy Birthday!
Harmless enough, right? Good for a few giggles.
Then today at school, apparently, Todd shocked his teacher by making mention of the "F-word". Fortunately, he innocently explained further and told her that his Daddy's 40th birthday was coming up. Whew! Maybe it's not such a bad thing if he thinks, for now, at least, that the F-word is "forty" :-)
Ants, not Aunts!
Our home is perpetually invaded by ants. Not a swarm, mind you, just a constant presence of 2 or 3 ants in the kitchen and in the bathroom sink. I wash them down the drain and an hour later 2 or 3 more have taken their place. I was getting fed up with the constant sight of these little buggers, and one evening exclaimed, "Ugh! Ants!!" in disgust.
To which my smart-aleck husband replied: "What, no uncles?"
Since this wasn't the first (nor even the hundredth, try thousandth) time he'd cracked that same joke, I all but ignored him.
Not Todd, who took him a little more seriously and responded in turn:
"No, not A-U-N-T! Ants! A-N-T!!"
To which my smart-aleck husband replied: "What, no uncles?"
Since this wasn't the first (nor even the hundredth, try thousandth) time he'd cracked that same joke, I all but ignored him.
Not Todd, who took him a little more seriously and responded in turn:
"No, not A-U-N-T! Ants! A-N-T!!"
Todd fires Daddy
All week Todd has been spending afternoons after school with us at work, since after-school care is closed this week. Yesterday he was hanging out in Daddy's office, where Daddy's attention got diverted by a conversation with a co-worker. Todd was none too pleased at being left out, and so wrote this note for Daddy on the whiteboard:
No mincing words, there!
On the bright side, he did end the pink slip with a nice closing of "Love" :-)
No mincing words, there!
On the bright side, he did end the pink slip with a nice closing of "Love" :-)
You're all wet!
Just a few minutes ago, Daddy came home from the workout room of our apartment complex, having sweated several hundred calories away on the treadmill. Since I had just shut the door to the bedroom, I knew Todd was still awake and encouraged him to say good night to his son. A sweaty Daddy obliged. When he came out, he told me that Todd had asked him:
"You're all wet! Why are you wet? Did you go pee-pee in your pants!? Tell Mommy I asked you if you went pee-pee in your pants!"
:-D
"You're all wet! Why are you wet? Did you go pee-pee in your pants!? Tell Mommy I asked you if you went pee-pee in your pants!"
:-D
